Living With Roommates 

How do you live peacefully with roommates? If you are living with someone new, here are ten great tips for being a good roommate! 

Living with a roommate can be a huge adjustment, especially if you have always lived alone or do not know the other person prior to moving in together. Deciding to have a roommate comes with various benefits, including cost savings on rental payments and monthly living expenses, the potential for new friendships, and increased safety and peace of mind by living with someone else. 

While having a roommate has many advantages, it is important to respect each other, communicate effectively, and follow boundaries to avoid unwanted conflict. Most individuals have roommates in college, but many adults today continue to share housing with other people to split responsibilities and save money for a future downpayment. 

No matter your reason for choosing to live with roommates, there are multiple things to consider beforehand that can help you become a great roommate and good friend. Whether you live in Raleigh or another part of the Triangle area, these tips can be applied anywhere you call home. 

Consider these top ten tips when living with roommates 

1. Communication is Key 

Communication is essential in any relationship, especially when living with roommates or in a co-living space. Practicing clear and effective communication skills and active listening will help manage potential conflicts and ensure a positive and comfortable living environment for all parties involved. 

Good communication is key to building a successful roommate relationship. It allows for an open and honest environment for discussing and solving issues. Always talk with your roommate in a private setting away from other people, and be direct and clear about what is bothering you. 

Never discuss issues with your roommate behind their backs, which can lead to mistrust and resentment. Always be aware, respectful, and present when communicating openly with your roommate. 

Difficult conversations with roommates can be challenging, but instead of avoiding any issues at hand, choosing to communicate effectively to find solutions to problems will lead to a happier and healthier living environment and a stronger roommate relationship. 

2. Set Boundaries 

Even if you are best friends with your roommate, it is always a good idea to set healthy boundaries in advance before moving in together. Setting boundaries early and opening a clear line of communication to discuss these boundaries will help pave the way toward a smooth and positive living situation. 

The first step toward setting boundaries is to discuss what makes each other uncomfortable and establish expectations regarding personal space, shared spaces, shared belongings, noise levels, guest policy, chore division, financial responsibilities, and overall living habits and expectations. 

Setting clear boundaries will help limit uncomfortable situations and potential conflicts so that you know beforehand what to expect from one another. As long as boundaries are respected and accommodated, roommates can live happily and harmoniously. 

It is essential to recognize that mistakes do happen and to be flexible and understanding when they do. As long as there is healthy communication and respect between both parties, roommates should be comfortable discussing boundaries and reaching compromises if boundaries are crossed by accident. 

3. Clean Up After Yourself 

One of the most common issues between roommates is a lack of cleanliness, not participating in chores, and not cleaning up after oneself. When an unequal distribution of chores or general uncleanliness starts to affect others living in a household, resentment builds and generally leads to conflict. 

Unfortunately, messy roommates are common since most people have different cleaning styles and priorities regarding cleaning. Cleanliness and bad hygiene are some of the first things that roommates will notice and fight over, which is why establishing boundaries and open communication in advance is essential. 

Chores like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, wiping down the counters, and vacuuming the floors are simple enough. Still, when neglected, they can impact everyone's overall living environment. 

To stay on top of this potential issue, sit down with your roommates and create a chore chart that everyone can see and follow. Split the chores and tasks between roommates and alternate to-dos each week to keep things fair and even. This is also a great way to get a head start on spring cleaning and can help build great cleaning habits. 

4. Compromise 

Much like good communication, being willing to compromise with your roommate is essential for solving conflicts. To compromise means that arguments are settled through a mutual acceptance of terms in which each person is willing to give up something they want to reach an agreement. 

Compromises can be difficult, but when sharing space and living with a roommate, they are oftentimes necessary to preserve friendship and will further establish healthy relationships. Unfortunately, not everything will go how you want, and compromises for fairness show that you are willing to make sacrifices to find a resolution and move on from the conflict. 

5. Create a Roommate Agreement 

A roommate agreement is a legally binding written contract that helps prevent future lawsuits. They can be tailored to a specific situation and are a great way to uphold boundaries and promises between roommates. 

Most roommate agreements include information about how much each roommate pays for rent, the split between utilities, rules for pets and parties, which bedroom each roommate occupies, quiet hours, who is responsible for damages, what happens if there is a dispute, and what happens if anyone decides to move out early. 

Roommate agreements are a smart way to protect your rights and can be drafted yourself or with the help of an attorney. 

6. Learn Roommate Schedules 

One of the best tips for living with roommates is to take the time to learn everyone's schedules. This is especially important when the living space is shared equally or only one bathroom exists. 

For instance, if one person comes home late in the night or leaves early in the morning, it is essential to learn each other's schedules so that you can be considerate of sleep schedules and customize living arrangements. 

You can learn how your roommate's schedule interacts with your own and make necessary decisions and changes that work with everyone. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to share Google calendars or write out everyone's schedule and keep it up on the refrigerator or in a shared space. 

7. Respect Personal Space 

Respecting a roommate's personal space is crucial in a co-living situation and is one of the most important things to remember when setting boundaries. Always be mindful of a roommate's personal belongings and private areas by asking before borrowing things and knocking before entering a room. Pay attention to any "Do Not Disturb" signs, closed doors, and headphones. 

8. Get To Know Them 

The best thing that you can do before moving in with a roommate is to get to know them. Make plans to meet for coffee or lunch and learn about each other. Ask questions about their career, where they are from, what they like to do for fun, and their daily routine. 

If you do not know your roommate beforehand, making the first move and reaching out to them might be intimidating. However, getting to know your roommate in advance is a great way to avoid any potential awkwardness and ensure that your personalities can coexist in a living environment. 

When meeting, remember that you do not have to become best friends, but being respectful, cordial, and open-minded is essential. Befriend them on social media and show interest in a potential friendship by breaking the ice and asking questions. 

You want to find a roommate who is compatible with you and your lifestyle. If you end up becoming great friends in addition to good roommates, then it is a win-win situation. 

Common questions to ask a potential roommate include: 

1. What time do you generally wake up and go to bed? 
2. How neat and messy are you? 
3. What is your pet policy? 
4. What is your worst habit? 
5. What are your feelings about overnight guests? 
6. What chores do you least like doing around the house? 
7. Would you self-identify as introverted or extroverted? 
8. How often do you travel? 
9. How often do you cook at home? 
10. What are your most significant stressors in life? 

9. Address Issues Promptly 

If an issue arises with a roommate, the best thing to do is tackle the problem head-on and as soon as possible. Avoiding or brushing under the rug can lead to built-up resentment or a more significant issue that can be hard to resolve. 

Early intervention is key to preventing a problem from escalating, and fortunately, most issues can be resolved with direct communication and compromises. Avoid making personal attacks and instead directly tell your roommate what is bothering you so that changes and apologies can be made and you both can move on. 

Find a calm and quiet moment to discuss the problem so that both parties can pay attention and focus on the conversation. If communication starts to break down and emotions are high, consider bringing in a third neutral party to mediate the discussion and reach a favorable solution for everyone involved. 

10. Decide What is Being Shared 

Be prepared to share when living with a roommate. Before moving in together, decide what household items are shared to avoid future problems and arguments. Shared items between roommates may include furniture in the main living space, dishes, kitchen supplies and utensils, decorations, groceries, streaming service subscriptions, utilities, and rent payments. 

FAQs 

What is a toxic roommate? 

A toxic roommate is manipulative, inconsiderate, and overbearing in a shared living environment. Roommates who exhibit destructive behaviors and do not respect boundaries can cause a stressful and unhappy living situation for others and most often lead to a change in living arrangements. 

When is it time to leave a roommate? 

Signs to look out for that may indicate the need to move on and find another roommate include constant disrespectful behavior, lack of boundaries and communication, unresolved conflict, and a general feeling of stress and resentment toward the person you are living with. 

Is it smart to live with roommates? 

Living with roommates can be a great and positive experience. It is a great way to save money on rent and utilities and a fantastic opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. 

How often should roommates have guests over? 

While there is no exact rule about how often a roommate should have a guest over, roommates should discuss a mutually agreed-upon frequency beforehand. All roommates should be aware of and agree upon when and how long a guest will be coming over.

Methodology 

To determine the best tips for living with roommates, information was sourced from Stevenson University, Encyclopedia Britannica, Very Well Mind, and Legal Zoom.  

Best Tips Living With Roommates - Final Thoughts 

While there is always a potential for conflict when living with other people, finding a roommate compatible with your lifestyle and habits is ideal and can positively impact a shared living environment. The above tips are great to follow when living with a roommate, but they can also be used when moving in with a significant other or learning how to communicate better with friends and family members. 

If you are from the Raleigh area and looking for a roommate or already have one in mind, many beautiful homes for sale and top-rated apartment complexes are available. The experts at Raleigh Realty can help point you in the right direction.